Fear 16 x 16
Fear plays a large part in the life of an abused person. There is fear in staying and fear in leaving.
There is fear of appearing to be weak/a victim/naïve/etc in addition to fear of what the abuser might say or do at any given time. There is a fear of what other people might say or think when they find out about the abuse. A person can be unprepared to deal with the situation, but also fearful of losing face and being seen as having been duped or manipulated. Pride may not let them admit the truth for a long time. Someone can be a capable person in many areas of life all of his/her life, and when face to face with abuse, be fearful of being viewed as not capable, which is a vicious circle to be in.
An abused person can become paralyzed by their fear.
There is also fear of the unknown for folks who love someone experiencing abuse and aren't able to know what their reality is like.
If you have a friend or family member who is experiencing abuse here are some things you can do to help. The most important thing to remember is that the choice to leave or not is theirs. You can't make them leave a bad situation but you can be supportive and helpful in their choice. They will need someone they can count on when/if they do decide to end or leave the abusive relationship.
Domestic Violence knows no boundaries when it comes to race/gender/sexuality/age/socioeconomic status/geographic location/culture.
Remember, domestic abuse affects ten million people in the US every year. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please know that the folks at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1 800 799 SAFE or thehotline.org) are ready to listen and support you, as well as refer you to a local program or organization. If you observe someone being abused, you can also call the hotline. A good samaritan call can save a life!
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All of the quilts in the Domestic Abuse series so far can be viewed here.
