Grief 16” x 16”
Grief is a long-lasting, ongoing symptom of abuse. Ambiguous and unresolved grief takes new forms over time as it encompasses more lost time, memories, possibilities, and relationships. Family and friends of an abused person may grieve what they've personally lost as well as what the abused person they care about has lost.
Often, people grieving a death are told that grief reflects the love we have and share with a person. For some, the idea that the ache of this loss is filling a space in direct proportion with the love they've lived can be a great comfort and reminder of the joy they've experienced. In the case of ambiguous grief in the face of abuse, this construction of loss is a harsh reminder of the hurt an abuser has inflicted on an abused person and their community.
If you have a friend or family member who is experiencing abuse here are some things you can do to help. The most important thing to remember is that the choice to leave or not is theirs. You can't make them leave a bad situation but you can be supportive and helpful in their choice. They will need someone they can count on when/if they do decide to end or leave the abusive relationship.
Domestic Violence knows no boundaries when it comes to race/gender/sexuality/age/socioeconomic status/geographic location/culture.
Remember, domestic abuse affects ten million people in the US every year. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please know that the folks at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1 800 799 SAFE or thehotline.org) are ready to listen and support you, as well as refer you to a local program or organization. If you observe someone being abused, you can also call the hotline. A good samaritan call can save a life!
All of the quilts in the Domestic Abuse series so far can be viewed here.
