Rage - Domestic Abuse Quilt Series #16

Rage 16’’ x 16’’

Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. National Domestic Abuse Hotline

“Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner exhibits varying types of behaviors to have more power and control over their partner.”

“In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.” National Domestic Abuse Hotline

Rage, the feeling or expression of violent uncontrollable anger is one thing that can grow over time in an abusive relationship.

For the abuser, rage might be a symptom of his/her emotional problems/lack of control/etc. The abuser’s rage allows him/her to gain control over the abused.

For the abused, rage is a reactive symptom of other feelings/emotions/circumstances. For the secondary victims, rage is a reactive symptom of anger/frustration/fear.

If you have a friend or family member who is experiencing abuse here are some things you can do to help. The most important thing to remember is that the choice to leave or not is theirs. You can't make them leave a bad situation but you can be supportive and helpful in their choice. They will need someone they can count on when/if they do decide to end or leave the abusive relationship.

Domestic Violence knows no boundaries when it comes to race/gender/sexuality/age/socioeconomic status/geographic location/culture.

Remember, domestic abuse affects ten million people in the US every year. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please know that the folks at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1 800 799 SAFE or thehotline.org) are ready to listen and support you, as well as refer you to a local program or organization. If you observe someone being abused, you can also call the hotline. A good samaritan call can save a life!

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All of the quilts in the Domestic Abuse series so far can be viewed here.

Secondary - Domestic Abuse Quilt Series #15

Secondary 16’’ x 16’’

An abusive situation usually involves more than one victim: the primary victim and a number of secondary victims, such as close friends and relatives.

Secondary victims are often isolated from their loved one. They may exhibit worry and anxiety and understandably fear for their loved one’s well-being.

"Often, secondary survivors feel so conflicted; they want to help their friend leave their abusive partner but their friend isn't ready yet. And they also don't want to continue to expose themselves to abusive behavior, or it pains them to hear their friend talk about abuse and staying in the relationship. Or, if their friend refuses to talk about the abuse, they often feel anxious not knowing what's going on.  I advocate for someone to take whatever steps they need to take in order to ensure their own personal safety and well-being. I also think it's important to let your friend know you'll be there for them. Leaving an abusive relationship is so dangerous, and often connections have been severed so a survivor has few people to rely on. You can make it clear, "If you need anything let me know. I really mean that." But if you also have to reduce contact to keep your sanity, do it. Most secondary survivors feel drained trying to affect a certain outcome. " Ruth Spaulding DomesticShelters.org

If you have a friend or family member who is experiencing abuse here are some things you can do to help. The most important thing to remember is that the choice to leave or not is theirs. You can't make them leave a bad situation but you can be supportive and helpful in their choice. They will need someone they can count on when/if they do decide to end or leave the abusive relationship.

Domestic Violence knows no boundaries when it comes to race/gender/sexuality/age/socioeconomic status/geographic location/culture.

Remember, domestic abuse affects ten million people in the US every year. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please know that the folks at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1 800 799 SAFE or thehotline.org) are ready to listen and support you, as well as refer you to a local program or organization. If you observe someone being abused, you can also call the hotline. A good samaritan call can save a life!

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All of the quilts in the Domestic Abuse series so far can be viewed here.

Halloween 2019 - Admiral Holdo

Admiral Holdo - Star Wars, The Last Jedi.

P and I have been working on her costume for a couple of weeks. We purchased a pattern for the Admiral Holdo dress from someone on etsy. It was laughably large so we had to make quite a few adjustments.

We ended up using the Made by Rae Flashback Skinny Tee as a base. The back shape, sleeves, and arm holes are from the skinny tee pattern. We used the front shaping plan from the Holdo pattern but sized it to better fit miss P.

We made the cape three different times, finally ditching the pattern and making up our own shape that worked better.

We purchased the wig and arm pieces online. P made the head piece from some wire we had in the basement. We stitched it to the base of the wig to keep it in place.

We are thrilled with the overall look.

Miss P is interested in theater and has learned a lot about costume design the last couple of years.

Her brother suggested this location on U of M North Campus for our photo shoot and it did not disappoint.

I got one photo when she cracked a smile.

Her Rey costume from last year can bee seen here.

Her other costumes can be found here.

Apple Picking

Apple picking around here involves spreading a tarp on the ground and then someone climbing the REALLY OLD apple trees and shaking the upper branches. The rest of us stand back to avoid being hit by falling apples. We then gather the apples to bring back to the house.

B has made two big batches of applesauce and canned it already. Whoop!

Apple Pie for breakfast.

Pain - Domestic Abuse Quilt Series #14

Pain - 16” X 16”

Domestic abuse is about controlling someone’s mind and emotions as much as hurting their body. Mental and emotional pain can make it more difficult for a person to use coping skills in abusive situations, and can even weaken their immune system.

There is no cure or treatment for the pain of domestic abuse and the effects can last a lifetime, even if someone is able to leave an abusive situation.

Pain is felt by the primary victim of abuse as well as their friends and family, as the abuser seeks to hurt and isolate the primary victim.

Ten million Americans experience domestic abuse every year.  Ten million.  Someone I love and care about is a victim of abuse and has been for over twenty years.  Odds are you or someone you know is a victim as well. I have learned a lot about domestic abuse over the last two decades and the number one fact I have learned is that most incidents are never reported.  Ten million people every year and that number doesn't reflect the full scope of abuse in the US, as many people aren't able to safely share and report their stories.  I am a doer.  I like to make and fix things.  Sadly, I cannot fix things for the person in my life who is being abused.  But, I can speak up.  And I can sew.  And hopefully I can make a difference. (Statistics from the CDC)

Domestic violence knows knows no boundaries when it comes to race/gender/sexuality/age/socioeconomic status/geographic location/culture.

Remember, it affects ten million in the US every year.  If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please know that the folks at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1 800 799 SAFE or thehotline.org) are ready to listen and support you, as well as refer you to a local program or organization. If you observe someone being abused, you can also call the hotline.  A good samaritan call can save a life.

See all of the Domestic Abuse Quilts here.

Wordless Wednesday - the tiny crown of thorns edition

Summer Garden

I love this time of year when I can wander out to the garden and gather some fresh food to add to my dinner.

I love radishes. After an initial thinning I’ve been gathering some of the larger ones each day to eat. They were planted in the carrot, beet and cilantro rows.

The raspberries are a little slow this year but they are coming along.

Home Alone

I dropped my daughter off at music camp in the middle of last week and have been making good use of my time in the studio. I taught a one day workshop and then dove in to work on these Spring Fever blocks.

My husband is also out of town for work so I have been able to have a lot of uninterrupted sewing time.

I love watching them grow on the design wall.

I think it’s starting to look like a crochet granny square blanket.

I am ALMOST ready to sew the blocks together but will let this project rest for a while. I plan to take the coming week as a “build your own artist residency" in my studio. I will work on some smaller projects and explore some piecing ideas until I pick up my daughter from camp next weekend. I also have a stack of books to dive into.

Prepping for the Next Step

I finished all of the centers for the blocks I need for my Spring Fever quilt. Next I’ll be making the borders to go around them. I’ve paired up the border colors in preparation. I don’t want to start sewing them on and end up with color combinations I don’t like for the last few blocks. Also, I’m all ready to go the next time I’m in the studio.

Design Wall Update

I’ve been working on both of these quilts and they have grown too big for this huge design wall.

There has been a break up.

They now have a little more space to grow on their own section of wall.